I would like to say: gag.
What Would Nini Mo Do? No gagging for her--she'd kick Edward in the head (the guy has been in high school since 1918--sheesh), send Jacob to the Pound, and give Bella a copy of Delta of Venus.
Ayah, I know you aren't supposed to down books you haven't read. But I have the feeling that this review pretty much says it all, and it really crushes me that in 2007 this kind of pernicious crud can capture so many girlish imaginations.