Horoscope for Sol, 25th Año Abenfarax by Archangel Bob
Loliga: This will be a month of great upheaval. The sun is in calico in the fourth house and thus in direct opposition to everything. Do not attempt any major workings at this time or pulverized concrete is sure to ensue. Blow out your candle and curse the light.
Oso: Fishing is always fun on a sunny day and you never know what you might catch. Have you ever considering a monastic rite? This year would be a perfect time to build a hut of seaweed and count the waves. Watch where you sling those hooks, they are very pointy and they stick.
Alacran Do I feel a hot breeze? No, that's just the back draft from your funeral pyre. It is not enough for you not to smoke in bed, you must ensure that your lover does not smoke in bed either. Fire is hot no matter who starts it. Hold still, quit crying, and I shall get the butter.
Coyote: If your hair is red, dye it green, if it is green, dye it purple and if it is purple then there is nothing I can do to help you. I suggest the Monday steamer to Angeles. It is less foggy there and you will enjoy the enchiladas. Don't forget to pack a shady hat.
Still more to come...