Of course, when I first heard about Showtime's The Tudors miniseries, I knew that I wasn't going to get Shakespeare. But their approach seemed sound: the court of Henry VIII was full of sex, lies and intrigue, and the young Henry was pretty smoking hot. The miniseries promised to play up the rock and roll aspects of Tudor life, and, with Jonathon Rhys Myers as Henry, it all sounded pretty good, in a music video sort of way.
Alas, there's good-bad, and then there's bad, and then there's just blah.
The Tudors is just blah. Now, I know that it would seem impossible for JRM to play blah, but he seems to be phoning his performance in. Great Harry should be a larger than life character, pompous, yet charming; witty, yet brawling; educated, but lascivious. JRM gives the impression that Great Harry is spending all his time wishing he were fishing in Scotland. In other words, he's pretty disengaged from the rest of the action. Oh there's intrigue, and hot ladies-in-waiting, and scheming cardinals, and deer-hounds, jousting, etc. Everything you would expect a Tudor movie to have, but there's no fire. No spirit. No va-ba-boom. There's a certain clockwork quality to the show. Five minutes of scheming, five minutes of feasting, ten minutes of canoodling. Then back to the scheming. So, while I was expecting to be disappointed, at least I was hoping to be entertained by the awfulness of it all. Instead, I was just bored.
And also, everyone's super clean. Somehow I don't think people in Tudor England were quite that super-clean. Nor the roadways, or the hallways, or London Bridge, for that matter.
I think I'll go watch Velvet Goldmine again--a movie that's the very antithesis of blah.